So this story begins in a clichéd backdrop of a 17-year-old young girl from the small town of  Dehradun, to have settled in Pune for college. It was the year 2010, and Oh how starry everything was. I was excited, lively and full of hope. Life was good, friends were easy to make. 

All through school, I had been a “fat”, “unpopular” and almost non-existent girl. I always had issues regarding the way I look, and was never comfortable in my own skin. However, all of this was about to change. 

While attending one of the many college fests, I happened to meet someone through my cousin. There he was all smart, intelligent and musically inclined. Plus, the timing, it couldn’t have been better! I met him right after my first “boyfriend” in college had dumped me post a huge and painful breakup. 

I must say, I was overwhelmed at the speed at which my life was moving ahead. Everything was finally coming up. I was losing weight now. I started looking and feeling good about myself. Meanwhile, my perfect love-story progressed. 

We started hanging out thrice a week: talking, chatting, sharing our weirdest of thoughts.. Eventually, he proposed. Needless to say, I was over the moon. Sure, he had his quirks, but for me, this was IT. He was my one, THE ONE . 

The highs, however, were not there to stay. Over a period of time, I started getting ignored, left alone for hours. Football and cricket matches were chosen over me, while I waited at cafes. He used to apologise and bounce back every time, and I kept forgiving, because deep inside, the fat and unpopular girl didn’t want to let go of this one guy, who finally showed interest in her. 

He eventually told me one day, over the phone, that he wanted to break-up. Suddenly my heart sank…I felt numb. I was as startled as a deer in headlights.  WHAT HAD HAPPENED?! All thanks to Mills N Boon and Nicholas Sparks, I did not lose hope just yet. 

I pined and waited. I did everything I could to get him back: dated multiple guys to spite him, hung out with his classmate whom he didn’t like, only to get his attention. And that I eventually did. In the process, however, I lost my self-respect. He came back, and I gladly took him in. 

Almost four years passed with the same back and forth. So much so that I had no clue if I was single or committed. He wouldn’t let me off the hook because, and I quote, “You’re someone I can’t be with, and definitely can’t be without”. All the time he told me how deeply he cared about me. But, at the same time, casually bringing up that he couldn’t be in a relationship as he wanted to focus on his studies and career. 

In 2014, when things seemed slightly stable, I asked him about the future. For the first time, in crystal clear words, he told me that he never saw a future with me. Never did, never will. Why? Well, because I was way too competitive, headstrong and independent for his liking of a wife. 

My chest hurt, only to realise that I was not breathing. It was a feeling, that words fail me, to describe. Five years of my life had gone by, with me believing in something which was not real. I used to be extremely emotional, sentimental and sensitive, and in that split second something inside me snapped. Before I even realised, I slipped into depression. I was harsh,  bitter, rash and almost impossible to get a hold. 

But, as destiny may have it,  when I was at my lowest point, when I thought life just couldn’t get worse, true love actually came looking for me. It had been right there all along.

Seven months after my break-up, my oldest friend, reconnected with me and it was like destiny prodding us into realizing that, we were meant to be together. He too, had gotten out of a bad relationship and was sore. He very cautiously asked me, if I’d want to spend my life “good, bad, ugly or worse” with him, because he couldn’t picture anyone else with whom he could share his life with.  That was the day I never looked back. 

Today, I am happily married to Maj. Hareesh Nair, who I have known since his cadet days at NDA and then IMA. He happens to be the quirkiest guy, with the biggest heart. He’s an ass at times, but full of love. We tend to fight like mad dogs, but none of our fights have lasted for more than 3 hours. 

The toxic relationship I had for four years had a huge effect on my mental health. I got treated for severe depression and anxiety issues, was anorexic for 10 months, went from 72 kilos to 45 kilos in a period of 8 months. I am not reeling under it anymore, nor do I have hard feelings against anyone. I would not call my ex a bad person, or demonise him. He played his pre-decided role in my life: to guide me through this one very important lesson. Had it not been for him, I wouldn’t have realised that my oldest friend is actually THE ONE. 

The point is, where I conclude: you’ve got to empty your glass, to let the Universe fill it with happiness. Those who are yearning for a partner, finding love, just stop- lay back, and let love find you. It’ll find you, when life has made you pass through a shit-storm and is sure, that you can handle the worst, for only then, you know the true meaning of bliss. So, the pearl of wisdom here is, to never lose faith, good things are going to happen! 

Raagya, 28, is pursuing a doctorate in nuclear law. She is currently working at the National Law School of India University’s research centre for environmental law. A trained classical singer, Raagya took to power-lifting weights to fight her way out of depression.